Why I No Longer Pronounce My Difficult, Latin Last Name the “Easy Way”

By Badassery member Michelle Arrazcaeta, creative strategy consultant, world traveler, hip hop dancer and badass who had a hard time pronouncing her last name when she was young. In honor of Hispanic Heritage Month.

While other kids in my kindergarten class were memorizing their home phone number and address I was memorizing how to spell my last name. Arrazcaeta (Arrh-rah-ska-ehta) is long. It’s ten letters! And a weird combination, too. I made up a song to help me remember. It was a success until I had to practice saying it. 

Thankfully, years of spelling and pronouncing my surname made me an expert. Other people, who have about 30 seconds to read or pronounce it, really struggle. 

Arrazcaeta is hard to place. Guesses have been everything from Russian to Italian. Not knowing where its roots are makes it even harder for people to pronounce. When they try it’s a comical disaster. Even people who know I’m half Cuban and have pronounced my name in Spanish still mess up, especially when it counts like at high school graduation. 

After years of my name being butchered, I started to pronounce it “the easy way.” In English. (Air-rah-skate-tah). It made me feel less difficult. Feel less noticed for being difficult. The easy way stopped the deer-in-headlights look every time I simply said my name.

Two years ago, I was at work and everything changed. I overheard someone say, pronounce your name the way its meant to be pronounced. I stood up and thought, what? It suddenly became crystal clear what I’d been doing. 

By Americanizing my last name, my very unique and badass name, I chose to say it wrong. I shrank my presence and story and accommodated others over myself. It didn’t occur to me that mispronouncing my last name was worse than others mispronouncing it. How can anyone else say it right if I don’t?

I have so much pride in my Basque last name and the stories that come with it. My Cuban father’s heritage is as important to me as my American’s Mother’s heritage. Being my whole self means owning and respecting all of it and not shying away from any of it. 

So bring on the deer-in-headlights looks, the questions about where it’s from, the terrible mispronunciations. I don’t care because I’m going to pronounce it the right way. Arra-ska-et-tah. By doing that it means I did my job in showing up as myself. 

I’d rather the confusion open up a conversation (especially if it teaches someone something). I’d rather the world be full of poor attempts than intentionally mispronounced names. I’d rather the people know the real me, and the real you, rather than the watered-down version.

And let me be honest. From time to time, I still trip up and mispronounce it the easy way. It’s that ingrained. It’s been that long. Crazy, right? But it’s OK. When making changes we all start from somewhere. And I’m going to start now.